On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
