I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
