it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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