The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
