batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
