Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
thus making me awesome and them whores
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
