the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize