You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
