he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
