Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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