im drinking this country out of the recession.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
