Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
