Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
