My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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