And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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