How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
