I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
