I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
