physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He shit in the fireplace
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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