ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
