:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
