take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
