Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
