I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
