Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
