ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
