the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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