I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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