I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
