I feel like abortions should bother me more
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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