My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Your tits are I can't wait for
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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