So drunk its hurt
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
