i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
