My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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