we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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