Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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