Need sex. Gaining weight.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
