Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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