you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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