I'm jealous of your bromance
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
