You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
