I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Text me some of your sweat
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
