I love black thongs
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
