i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
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