I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
