Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
