Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
