dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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