I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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