Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
