I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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