Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
