is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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