I'll bet she douches with gravy.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
