can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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