im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
