I wish I only lived at night.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
